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I don't mean to sound cynical but I remember this Are you the same person? tpa < StraightUp4Ever > -01-30 Life is short. Believe it today. God knows I do. This entry is first to honor the memory of the woman I believed I would spend the rest of my life with, to help myself in reaching some closure, and if it brings you some clarity and realization then it have served it's intended purpose. was one of a kind. I met her 18 months and we had a profound bond that we both recognized from the start. Some how we were inherently bound and drawn to one another. It was kinda freaky and although we maintained a friendship, there was a period of time that we distanced ourselves from one another. That lasted about 60 days and after that we began spending time together again. We enjoyed the kind of friendship some folks never experience, We watched the go down and come back up on occasions, talking, laughing, sharing our hopes and dreams. In of this year after alot of discussion we agreed that we belonged together and made the decision to become lovers and friends. I felt like a high school kid when I proposed to on 10. She put the ring on, smiled that smile that lit up my world and said nothing for 3 days. days was all I could stand and I think she sensed it because she stopped me as I began to speak, looked inside of me like she always had and said "I would to be your wife." Because of a difficult past and an even worse childhood battled with depression. I knew little about the effects of depression but I did my best to support and comfort her. On the afternoon of /07 took her own life in our home while I was at work. don't let this happen to you and/or your loved ones. Get help and know that asking for help for someone you is not a betrayal even if they've asked you to tell no one. When depression is chronic judgment is impaired and YOU have to make decisions to protect the one who cannot protect them self. If you're not sure ASK someone you trust. If you it gets better but take no action you could lose like I have.

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